Thanksgiving "break"

What a tease....This semester...Its pretty OK to end right now....

There's not even tons left to do, but its been crazy.

It was so nice to just lay around the house. Go to the store. Take naps. Go swimming. Play with the kiddos. See the fam. Cuddle.

Now I just have to wrap it up. Two more IPPE days, two major finals. One more videotaping of my mad (nonexistant) counseling skills that I will have to watch and evaluate. About a million evaluations.

I haven't updated this in ages. Life has been a bit of a zoo.

I'll get there. Within the next week there will probably be a zillion short little updates. I feel like I can't even vent accuratley now. I mean life is crazy as per the usual, but it's not bad. I wish I could spread the love somehow!

I love my commute, today.

That's the one thing I love about my commute. Expensive (although cheaper now than in the past, for sure...)gas and random scary-clunking-noises-while-turning-left aside I love that I get some time to think. It seems thats what was missing in the last tornadoesque two weeks of life, my time with my thoughts. I budgeted a shower into my morning time today, but had to let that go because the babe tube was not emptied and I was going to have to stand in nasty water OR plunge the tub (awesome choice to make at 4:45am, ugh!) and was planning to think in the shower, on just one or two of my pressing life desicions of the week...SO much for that. I was really pretty bummed, honestly. I threw on some clothes, found a hair tie, and grabbed my stuff.
Out the door, into the car, I was still like, ugh...THEN I realized I sit in the car, 4 out of 5 days, and drive the 30 miles to and from school...Why not think then?
Now, No. This is not the FIRST time I thought on this. I mean I am always thinking, overthinking, everything. But this week I had a handful of actual desicions to make and wanted to really think on them. So I decided bam, that's gonna be my time.
It worked. I only got halfway through my thoughts on the way there, but picked up on the way home. About the buffalo road exit on the way back clarity hit me like a ton of bricks. I actually shrieked.
So today, I love my commute.

Welcome to life, pharmacy school. (Rant)

It's funny, they put a lot of weight, effort, into finding people for the pharmacy program that have done more than their basic pre-reqs. Not more college, necessarily, more STUFF. They are looking for well rounded people, that have some life experience, and goals. So I figure, that they might be a little more laid back in the amount of random stuff we have to regurgitate for exams. I mean, I get it, there is a LOT to know. I'm talking like the one sentence random facts that we can look up in a reputable reference in a matter of seconds if we need it. Like gram to grain conversions, equations, clinical dosing recommendation...They give us a class on looking this up, even. An entire, GPA weighted (thank goodness, I needed that!) course on how to look up drug info. But it seems that this is the very stuff they test us on.

I mean sure, if I was living at home, with mom and dad paying for my school, with no family, no bedtime, no job, no bills, I could do it. If my life was on flashcards, you bet I would know those facts. But they want to target, to recruit these people, that balance life, jobs, bills, families even, experiences, with these piles of reproducible facts.

Last year, I dealt. I chalked it up to pregnancy and a full time course load, two things I hadn't done in the last few years. But now, it's almost like they are wasting my time. Not because what I am learning isn't valuable, but because the way I have to present it is simply unrealistic. Am I going to compound something for a patient when the rx is given in grains, without looking up the conversion factor? No. I can tell you right now, it's 15.4 grains per gram. 65 mg per grain. But in ten years when that script floats into my pharmacy? You bet I'll look that up.

And when I spend a couple hours, studying for some quizzes, when I make sure I am there, every day, in that seat....When I leave before the sun, to study and have parking...And I take the quiz, to be told it doesn't count, and that the students that came in as the quiz was being collected will get the same "points" as me...It's frustrating. If you are going to make a point, to get people "like me" to fill the seats in your program, it would be awesome if you designed the coursework to what we will do in real life. Cause I'm living it. I've got the anxious second grader, the husband who is worried about job security. I've got no healthcare. I've got the mortgage, the job. I have the teething baby up keeping me company when I am studying at 4am, because that's when I can fit it in. I've got the sick grandma, the laid off dad, the brother who is trying to catch what life is throwing him. And I plan on being there for them too. And I'm not going to put that on the back burner. I picked this. That is why I'm here. That is how I got here. Their needs, their support, my goals, my needs. That's why I do this. And I will get through this. Pharmacy school doesn't really fit into life so well, but I'm trying. Welcome to life, pharmacy school.

My lack of memorizing flashcard facts and optimal dosing that will likely change when I graduate won't get me A's for sure. That won't help me compete for a residency, but at this point, I can't afford to spend my time for anyone that expects me to pick my GPA over my valued free time. I guess it's a good thing I ruled out med school long ago....

One week down

Well, that was work. I still don't even know what happened with the last week of my life....

My classes are long and my books are heavy. One of our texts is literally heavier than my almost 3 month old kiddo. Insane! Reading through that is my next task.

Amongst all the chaos, I didn't even get to put away the veggies from last week. Or cook anything. Or stretch, or swim. Needless to say, about now, I'm stressed and sore....Only about 15 more weeks to go then a small break!!

All in all, it's not too bad. I'm bummed that the courses I will likely do best in are pass fail, so I have no gpa buffer. I'm bummed that the professor that makes me really uneasy, which by the way is pretty hard to do, is teaching the bulk of our therapeutics course. I'm bummed that all I got to do at my rotation site was make a pile of Dr calls. I'm bummed that I still don't have a sitter for my wee tyke once school starts up again. But that's just it. Each one of these has a positive too....No gpa buffer means I really have to try, that's good for me. Motivating. Spending QT with my least fav prof, that's good for me too, builds character. Making loads of Dr calls, well, at least I'll get good at that! Not having a sitter, havent found the plus there yet, but that is the one obstacle I can likely resolve. I hope.

Goals for this weekend: Take care of last weeks loose ends, and get organized. And find a sitter I can afford, or at least some new leads. Eat more veggies (that's gotta be part of why I feel so blah), stretch, and take the girls swimming.

Today, I'm cleaning the fridge and counters, and starting over in the kitchen. Looks like some of my veggies will make it, and we are heading out soon to pick up new ones, which will get cleaned and go right in the fridge. Then reading and typing notes, some coffee, kiddo and nap time, then hanging out with some good friends because it's gonna be a rough semester! And do some laundry, because I need to take good care of my 5 day rotating wardrobe. Maybe, If I get enough work done, a trip to the outlets can be in order? Or at the least Pennys. Call me old, but I like their dress pants. Cheaper than target too.

Enough of the computer...on with the day :)

Trying this again...

Well, I tried to set up a blog a few months ago, and after a couple posts forgot my password. I also discovered that using this site is about the only way to get my pics off my cell phone, since I bought some unlocked euro version of a sony ericcson, and the email set up never quite worked. So here's to starting over....

Basically, I do a lot of things. I am a P2 student in pharmacy school, a mom to two adorable girls one 6, the other allllmost 3 months, also a wife, and a landlord. It's safe to say, things are pretty crazy around here. But, it works. Well, I try to make it work. Balancing it all is REALLY hard, I have an insane amount of support....We also have a very limited budget, and I have lots of big ideas, so that makes it all the more fun.

I'm guessing anyone that's gonna look at this knows all of this already, but being redundant is kinda a hobby of mine.

Needless to say, I have lots to say about lots, and I think free, easy to access blogs make my husbands earfull a lot less.

So here will be, tips on how to do just about anything cheaply, making things, surviving pharmacy school and motherhood, and having a blast while doing it all. And, likely more than the occassional whhhaaattt was I thinking rant for those overwhelming, not so balanced days :)