Redesigning...Or at least ready to make more than just a feeble effort....

After spending a chunk of the evening making a study guide for my management class (I think I'm the only one in pharm school that doesn't loathe the liberal artsy parts of the ciriculum...) I thought I'd to see if it was any easier to try to edit my blog layout on my laptop vs. the desktop. I gave it a try earlier but couldn't manage to change the colors, and it was rather drab. More than an hour later...I found a background and a color combo I don't hate...Although it still needs some work. I could spend hours tweaking the colors alone, but just because I like them doesn't mean that other people can stand to look at it...I'm not happy with the huge chunk of empty space next to the picture (one of about ten shots that are on my laptop...) but it'll work for now. It's not quite as painful to look at, and I think I might actually be ready to share it with more than my 6 followers, and take feedback now that I have the motivation to make my blog suck less.

Last rant of the semester...

OK. Going to attempt two posts today, one to tie up the end of the semester, and one to start the psuedo summer break :)

Last final was yesterday. Yeah, here's the rant.

So, I don't really study as much as my school counterparts. I could make more time for it, I guess, but I'd much rather make time for more fun things. I found that a good nights sleep, and a couple hours to wake up and get in the test mindset makes it as painless as possible.
I've heard all these rumors that the P2 year is the worst, and it's the one I finished up yesterday, at least I hope. I knew the exam was going to be rough, so I collected my relevant packets and readings and planned on flipping thru 'em a little at a time. I missed a lecture on reading EKGs and bradyarrythmias when I was at legislative day in Albany, so I had to figure all that nonsense out as well. Being badly burned by the arrhythmia section on the last exam, I wanted to make sure I could knock out at least one section on the test.
I don't know why I think I can get anything done in the house. Jon has about a million projects to do, and there's so many distractions. Even if I can convince myself not to play with the girls or dogs or bust out something crafty, there's people and dogs and cars and trains....

I figured that getting up at 4, and taking my time to read through the material would help. I could listen to the lecture, reference my book, sort out the packets. I went to bed early, was asleep by ten, so I could get my 6 hours. But, as always, life has different plans. So after spending from about three till about four soothing a screaming babe, studying was not on my radar. I had to go to sleep, cause after school was work, and well, I have to make sure people don't die at work, so I need to be awake for that too.

Needless to say, It didn't go as planned. I'll leave it at that.

Ok. Finally. Dusting it off.

Well, I had intentions of getting back into the blogging a couple of weeks ago. Clearly, it was just intentions...hahahaha...Ooooh man...But, having reached a point where my "done" list for the semester is about the same length as my "to do" list, I figured now works. Hopefully my 2 or 3 followers aren't expecting much :) SO...in summary...

School: Well, just under a month left. Spent this past Tuesday on a bus to Albany advocating for the profession (Sticking to that was quite the task, mind you. Much advocating to be done these days) and the remainder of the week trying to guilt myself into studying for yesterdays P&T exam. Which, by the way, never seems to work out (intentions again, I suppose). There's just so much else to do. Turns out the exam was near impossible anyways, with questions that really could have been answered only by actually memorizing some charts we were handed. I mean, really folks? It's ok. I can accept that. I can also accept my choice not to spend my time on that. I am completely confident in my ability to look up that information efficiently and apply it when needed. As I said, it didn't really seem to make a difference. The kids in class that skipped Albany day and all of the rest of the days classes leading up to the exam had more negative things to say about it than I did.

Family: Mabel's been sick for the better part of a week, finally getting over a cold and her teeth are about to bust through. Poor kiddo's gotten at least 4 teeth in the last month, looks like a couple more are coming through in the next week. I do not envy her position one bit. She's been a pretty good sport. And, words are forming. Well, sounds with meaning, at the least. Sure, Jon's been getting the AhDa and DaDa for a couple weeks now, but this past week I got the MaDa a couple times. Cute. We also have Up and Ba. And she hisses at Auburn sometimes. It's totally OK if she holds off on that whole forming big words thing for a while though. And the walking thing. Although I know that is getting close. Goodness the munchkin jumped so hard in her pack n play that she busted the board in the bottom. Gotta love it. Like Auburn, I imagine she will wait till her legs are strong enough to just run. Auburn is living it up, got a new bike, we've been taking LOTS of bike rides! Which is good, cause she's about the only bike rider I can keep up with. Her room is clean cause I hired it out to a friend who needed work..but that was a week ago and it's still tidy, so that's pretty good for seven. Jon is working. Goooodness I miss having a house husband, although it is nice to be able to pay the bills. And, we'll even have health insurance. And, most importantly, he doesn't hate his job. They treat him nice. All you can ask for really.

Work: I am so lucky that my boss gets how important my time is to me, and lets me work when I can during school. Waiting to hear on when the intern program starts up this year, so I can work more hours. Heavily debating on if I want to actively pursue getting enough hours together so that I can take my part 3 early. That's the compounding/wet lab portion of the boards that NY makes us do. The thing is, if I take it and for whatever reason don't pass, I have to take it again to get my license. Whereas, if I get a residency either in or out of state, and then come back to NY never having failed the part 3, I can get my license without having to take the part 3. I think I might just apply to the residencies that I want and take what I get, and if I don't get one I still have time to sign up for the part 3. I think. Haahahaha. Well, a year to tease out the details, I guess. Either way, I'm thankful to have a job I like.

House: The apartments are rented out, and nothing *knock on wood* is broken right now! I have a purple dining room (good choice) and a new mattress (not so good choice, so hard to get up) and I'm gearing up for some maaaaajor yardwork and cleaning. Discovered that birds can access my attic last weekend, I would have thought if they were up there often they would have annoyed the who out of the tenants by now, I think the attic is more their hang out than home, and I think I may have blocked off their access. I hope, anyways. Some minor house things to do still. Oh, and I guess I ought to finish painting the living room at some point. It's not a bad shade of whiteish, but, it's a shade of whiteish. But, having a too colorful living room might be overkill with the furniture, and color combos I have in the other rooms. Plus, I like that you can still experience the textured wallpaper underneath it! Yes, I painted over wallpaper, but, since I hardly have time to paint in there, I think replastering or drywalling was a little bit of a stretch.

In laws?: I won't be posting on the in-laws here, at least, for the time being. Not that they read this, or what I would type would be a slam or dig or without evidence or due cause. Infact I think that there are MANY lessons that can be learned from this, from a relationship and communication stand point, and I would love to share those. Just haven't figured out a way to do that yet. Keeping them out of my posts, updates, and all else in a last ditch effort to save at least the formal relationship for the kids. I will say though, that conflicts cannot be resolved, generally, without open dialogue, respect, and a willingness to admit your own mistakes. And I will say, that it has been really difficult, for all of us. And I will say, I broke my rule and gave out more than 3 chances for resolution. So, now it's back to wait and see. Sigh. I'm so stubborn sometimes.

Other randomness: Other things the past while has included, which will likely get their own posts as time provides: A 10+ hour road tip to Rangeley, ME with the peanut and the women of the Coleman clan, earring making experiments with Auburn, my proposed WSOP dress code challenge for next year (cowboy shirts only), curling (yes, curling!), a springtime dirt road ride to Maple syrup in the scooby, and lots of thoughts sent towards how on earth I might think I will ever find my place in the realm of pharmacy practice. I lost 20 pounds in the boot camp challenge, and kept it off (so far) despite not going to the gym since. I got my 2nd choice for my summer rotation. I'm excited about springtime. And so on. Mostly good things. :)



I think that about sums it up.

Welcome to life, pharmacy school. (Rant)

It's funny, they put a lot of weight, effort, into finding people for the pharmacy program that have done more than their basic pre-reqs. Not more college, necessarily, more STUFF. They are looking for well rounded people, that have some life experience, and goals. So I figure, that they might be a little more laid back in the amount of random stuff we have to regurgitate for exams. I mean, I get it, there is a LOT to know. I'm talking like the one sentence random facts that we can look up in a reputable reference in a matter of seconds if we need it. Like gram to grain conversions, equations, clinical dosing recommendation...They give us a class on looking this up, even. An entire, GPA weighted (thank goodness, I needed that!) course on how to look up drug info. But it seems that this is the very stuff they test us on.

I mean sure, if I was living at home, with mom and dad paying for my school, with no family, no bedtime, no job, no bills, I could do it. If my life was on flashcards, you bet I would know those facts. But they want to target, to recruit these people, that balance life, jobs, bills, families even, experiences, with these piles of reproducible facts.

Last year, I dealt. I chalked it up to pregnancy and a full time course load, two things I hadn't done in the last few years. But now, it's almost like they are wasting my time. Not because what I am learning isn't valuable, but because the way I have to present it is simply unrealistic. Am I going to compound something for a patient when the rx is given in grains, without looking up the conversion factor? No. I can tell you right now, it's 15.4 grains per gram. 65 mg per grain. But in ten years when that script floats into my pharmacy? You bet I'll look that up.

And when I spend a couple hours, studying for some quizzes, when I make sure I am there, every day, in that seat....When I leave before the sun, to study and have parking...And I take the quiz, to be told it doesn't count, and that the students that came in as the quiz was being collected will get the same "points" as me...It's frustrating. If you are going to make a point, to get people "like me" to fill the seats in your program, it would be awesome if you designed the coursework to what we will do in real life. Cause I'm living it. I've got the anxious second grader, the husband who is worried about job security. I've got no healthcare. I've got the mortgage, the job. I have the teething baby up keeping me company when I am studying at 4am, because that's when I can fit it in. I've got the sick grandma, the laid off dad, the brother who is trying to catch what life is throwing him. And I plan on being there for them too. And I'm not going to put that on the back burner. I picked this. That is why I'm here. That is how I got here. Their needs, their support, my goals, my needs. That's why I do this. And I will get through this. Pharmacy school doesn't really fit into life so well, but I'm trying. Welcome to life, pharmacy school.

My lack of memorizing flashcard facts and optimal dosing that will likely change when I graduate won't get me A's for sure. That won't help me compete for a residency, but at this point, I can't afford to spend my time for anyone that expects me to pick my GPA over my valued free time. I guess it's a good thing I ruled out med school long ago....