O camera, where art thou?

So, I took pics of the things I accomplished while out with "appendajerk" and I can't find my camera. I also can't find my energy to look for it, and it's a really long boring post without pictures, but I feel like I need to blog, so I'm going to share with you something VERY exciting that my husband just sent to me...

Preface: I get to pick out whatever vehicle I want when I'm done with school. Unfortunately I'm a car girl and have a list a mile long of what I'd love. Keeping my focus on something "new" I've narrowed it down to 2 main players, that is, until now....

OH MY GOODNESS! Now, my quest for a Vdub bus was squashed for a while. Husby, a mechanic, refuses to touch the things, but a little bit ago I found that a friend of a friend fixes them up for fun. They also have a track record of things like, oh, ya know, bursting into flames and breaking down, making it a little unappealing since I need to be on time every once and a while, at least for the foreseeable future (Boo). But then, Husby sends me this link! FINALLY! I mean they remade the bug HOW long ago now? And, 186.4 on a single battery charge? Holy dang. Yes, Yes, I DO realize that it is just a concept at the Geneva Auto Show, but fingers crossed, it will be mine. I could fit more than 4 people in it tooo, ya know, just in case...

In the meantime...My two top picks of things to get new are...

The mini countryman!

We picked up a mini clubman for my mom last year to settle our debt with my parents from the $ they helped us with to buy the house and make things happen with me in school. Love that car. Was thinking, it's be AWESOME if it had all wheel drive and heated seats, two of my fav features in my 1997 subaru princess wagon. And there ya go, they made it. It's ADORABLE. The last time we had to take the mini in for some warranty work, I was like...what is THAT?! The only downside I can think of is that it's, well, small. It's got 4 bucket seats, cool for road trip, but uncool if we have 5 people that want to go somewhere. Or 5 people in the family (maybe? someday?). Although, we always seem to have something else to drive...

My other top pick is the subaru legacy GT. It's like the grownup version of Husby's WRX, and mighty good looking. I'm so-so-sooooo sold on subarus. Just last week we had a foot of snow fall by the time I got in from school, and I had no probs getting in the driveway. Plus side: Husby will work on subarus, gladly. It also looks really harmless, won't draw attention. Downside, not as good on gas as the mini, not electric. More pricey than the mini too, even if I design my own mini. Waiting for suby to get on the hybrid bandwagon. If they jump on the bandwagon before VW decides to move the van to production...Well, we'll see!

Well, I hope you enjoy my car post in lieu of pictures of the results of my unexpected low key days off :)

Adios Appendix!

Well, it's been a whirlwind couple of weeks around here, to say the least...I survived round two of exams and presentation nonsense...well, almost...Let's start with Valentines day. Have I mentioned how much I hate Valentines day? It wasn't bad tho. Husby suggested takeout BBQ dinner at home via candelight (with the Munchkins too, of course) which was probably the best idea yet. Since I have school by our fave BBQ joint I offered to grab it on the way home. Yum! He had his usual pile of ribs, and I tried something new, these crab cakes coated in pulled pork...Seriously. I kid you not. Now, I have been phasing meat and meat products out of my diet gradually, so I expected the tummy ache that ensued Monday evening. And I kind of expected it to linger into Tuesday, I mean, deep friend and pulled pork, I earned it. But come Wednesday it was like I was being stabbed in the gut over and over again, and I only made it 2 hours into my 11 hour day at work when the boss started calling the local urgent care offices to see who had what imaging equipment to figure out what meanness was attacking my insides.
Using Colleen and Lisa's differential diagnosis, we narrowed my RLQ pain down to ovarian cysts, appendicitis, or diverticulitis, I just needed someone to take pictures of my guts and tell me which one it was. No luck finding Urgent care though, so I had to suck up the copay and visit the local ER.
It was interesting. I sat there for a few hours being poked and prodded (OW) and then drank some contrast dye mixed with crystal lite that I was told would give me diarrhea. Yay. CT scan was inconclusive (and boy is that gonna cost me) and by the time the surgeon got there Jon had arrived. We opted to take the diagnosis of possible cysts since my WBC wasn't elevated and although I had about no appetite I wasn't nauseas or vomiting. They offered to keep me for observation, or take out the lil guy for kicks, but I had a big test on Thursday (covering intraabdominal infections, mind you, Irony!) and a presentation to give on Friday that I hadn't quite finished yet. My super nice awesome nurse was busy when it was time for me to go, so this other nurse tossed a bunch of papers at me including a prescription for half the NSAIDs I currently take, confused the hell out of me, and lead me to tears of frustration. Supernicenurse came back and apoligized, and I just hoped that I would never have to see any of them again.
Well, I was up a couple times during the night with the stabbing pain, which was worse despite my pile-o-pain pills (not the 400mg Ibu the ER doc offered me though, something about duplicate therapy he didn't seem to understand...)and driving to school Thursday AM was not a pleasant time. Not to mention the after effects of all that crap they made me drink for the imaging, I was a peach, for sure. I spent a good chunk of time on the phone trying to get a hold of my PCP at the VA to get in for an ultrasound to confirm the cyst hypothesis, or obtain some sort of referral to not have to pay thousands if I had to go back to the ER....To find out my PCP was leaving the clinic and they could get me in in MAY. MAY. MAY! I requested to leave a message for a nurse or ANYONE but since they didn't have me reassigned they didn't have anyone to direct my message to. Lovely. They ended up finding a cancellation in someone's day for next Wednesday, so I took that for the time being, and hoped the pain would go away.
I made it through my test. Not excited to see the grades on that one, a two hour exam and I left in about 40 minutes because I was pretty sure my guts were going to grace the classroom walls one way or another. Texted husby to meet me at home and take me back to the hospital. Once I was back in the ER with not-so-nice nurse taking care of me (luckily I felt to crappy to care) they did bloodwork and my WBC was elevated. They opted to inspect my appendix situation laproscopically, and told me they'd take it out either way, and got me ready for surgery.
So here it is, Saturday night, and I'm working on this recovery nonsense. It went really well, and although I'm super sore I no longer have this stabbing pain in my RLQ.
I just caught up on emailing all my professors to make up my work from Friday and for Monday and Tuesday, so that I could take it easy a couple days. Since my back is already in bad shape, this whole having my stomach muscles cut into thing isn't the best ever. I'll tell you what is the best ever though, my husby for attempting to take care of me, my folks for bringing me flowers, my friends for entertaining me and making us all dinner, and all the people sending warm get better fuzzies my way. Who knows, maybe I can get some lazy projects done the next couple days? Maybe?
:)

Time out Tuesday...

So, I was getting some things done before classes yesterday, and I found out that the class I had an exam in today was NOT a pass/fail class. Ooops. I suppose that was likely indicated on the syllabus, but...I guess I missed that. Yesterday was jam packed, by 10am I had already spent quality time at the gym, got the kids up and dressed, finished my homework for the afternoon, and killed some time...After school was filled up too, volunteering with my oldest at Noogieland back in the city till 8...Meaning I had to go in and out of the city twice before I could finally wind down. Monday was manic indeed, but enjoyable, despite taking a small amount of anxiety to bed with me since studying for this exam clearly was out of range...

That being said, I rocked it. For sure. Granted, it was all on that common sense stuff, that (frighteningly) other pharmacy students sometimes have a LOT of trouble with. I had an advantage I guess in that I have kids that I had to feed and take care of and it was a self care exam...But for all the times having a family doesn't make the pharm student life easier, I think I had one freebie coming my way :)

Anyways. I was about to start working on my umpteen school things for the week, osteomyelitis case, fundraiser flyers, journal club, presentation....And I thought I'd take a time out. I busted out my camera and took the before shots for my projects-in-progress...

So...Here (hopefully) you can see the blue cord that will be a new bag, on top of the canvas where Auburn and I have sketched out our drawing (a big leafy tree and tons of flowers) an old magazine, an olive container I rescued from the recycletruckmonster after the last fridge clean (some label still attached...) and my bff modgepodge.

With both kids entertained, and husby soldering in the hallway, I figured I'd take my time out one step further and have some craft time. I decided that I wanted my pencil holder, formerly known as olive jar, to be coated in various shades of wine since it will be in my dining room, with a burgundy ceiling and purple walls, and wine in general makes me smile...So I selected my ratty-est wine-o mag and went to town cutting out slices of pinot and merlot. Before grabbing my scissors, I soaked the jar in a bucket of hot water with a lil Mrs. Meyers (goo gone scares me a little, and to be honest, it requires too much one-on-one) so the label and residual sticky would slip right off. Chopped out the shades of wine, and rescued my jar, ready to go! I was so impressed with it's shiny-ness, I took a picture of that too...

Ok. So the glare from my camera, and the photo quality don't do this shiny piece of rescued glass justice, I'm going for the *thought* that counts. I was super pleased. I promptly coated it with shades of wine and heaps of modgepodge, and once it dries and I find some snappy ribbon for the top, I'll post a pic of that too :)

Well, I suppose this case study isn't going to do itself, and considering I took another time out to blog this today (apparently my blog doesn't write itself either...) I'd better get to it.

Happy Tuesday all :)

Monday, Monday...

I only have 11 more Mondays left in pharmacy school! Only 11 more times will I walk down the halls wishing my friends a Happy Monday! Unfortunately, there are 13 more Tuesdays left, and this semester, Tuesday has been WAY more painful than Monday...

And today, I'm super excited. Saturday I got a call from a friend that she won me a ticket to a concert that I REALLY wanted to go to, tonight. I never got my ticket because almost as soon as I wrote the date down on my calendar my exam schedule came out, and I have a test, tomorrow. I couldn't find a concert date (Monday night late night sitters are hard to come by, and Husby has to work at the crack of dawn, so that was out) and didn't want to wander the streets alone in the cold OR loose my car in the city in the dark and the cold all alone...Most of my friends that are fans live no where near here anymore, or also weren't willing to go out on a Monday night. And, to be honest, I'm probably too old to pull that sort of thing off anyways...So, I had pretty much decided it wasn't going to happen...Until...My friend won tickets and HAS to go with me cause it's one of those tickets you have to be on a list for. I'm so excited!

The real test though, will be if I can stay awake the whole show. Lil one was up till 11, then up again from 3ish to 5ish...And I'm mid 3 hour lecture in a class with the shades drawn....

In other news, I have had a very productive Monday so far! I scheduled the dog to get his hair and nails done (I'm a little jealous, gotta admit! Although I'm rocking some new polish today :oD), printed the weeks notes, finished a study guide, and applied a few more "gentle" suggestions to this here blog.

Not just lazy at blogging....

I took a sick day from school today. Not only did I not feel like walking from the park-n-ride to class with the -temps, but my Aubs wasn't feeling up to par yet, so I kept her home. Mandatory attendance in pharmacy school is gonna have to deal.

Over the weekend I decided to FINALLY finish painting the living room. I started, oh, several months ago at a minimum, painted one corner, and stopped. Wasn't sure I was willing to commit to a neutral shade (Spice delight, a slightly cozier antique white...) in the living room, and wanted to reflect on my choice....My shade reflection turned into academic chaos and laziness...And as I was thinking about painting the bathroom, I was reminded that I still had 7/8ths of a room to complete...

I think I like it.

I'm not saying that I'm going to paint the rest of the house in shades of "meh", but for the living room, it works. Looks stellar with the trim, windows, and our mismatched hand-me-down couch set.

Random, but I thought I'd share.

Constantly Inspired, but just...welll...Lazy

I guess it's time for my quarterly blog post....I'd really like to say, I admire the women I know that can keep up with blogging...Wow...I just...well...can't seem to make it a habit...

So, almost done with another semester of Pharm school! Yay! After tomorrow I will be DONE with pharmacology! One more semester, then it's on to rotations, where my learning can begin....

I'm really excited about my rotations. I've been nervous about getting sites that were over 100 miles away, or really not of my interest, since, well, P1 year. I think that my selection went just fine. The way my school does rotations is weird. We end up with way more than the required number of hours, and although it IS more work, at least it's the sort of work I can learn from. I am fortunate enough to have scored rotations that each satisfy some sort of selfish desire of mine but will also give me a challenge and a really well rounded experience, which is good, cause I've been bored out of my miiiind...

Working has helped a little, I say a little, cause there's really not much happening at my pharmacy in the evenings, just seemingly longer hold times for the occasional ins company call, and housekeeping duties, not really much to challenge my inner pharmacist. I'm excited to be working a couple day shifts over break, and to be able to work during the summer, since I got block 1 off of APPEs. Hopefully this will give me enough intern hours to take part 3 of my boards early, one less thing to worry about...

I've been keeping up my motivation by doing some research, mainly trying to find that perfect residency. I think I finally may have. I am still 100% torn, at this point it is so tempting to just take my job and move on with working, but at the same time I still feel like I want just a little more education, perspective, experience. Maybe APPEs will help me get over it...

Anyways, just making sure my blog doesn't get deleted. Who knows, maybe I will have some time to keep this up over break? It hasn't worked yet...but, maybe?

Women in Positions of Prestige and Power

For real.
Ok, so I'm in this elective at school, "Leadership in Pharmacy Practice". I picked this elective because as someone who is thinking of having her own pharmacy, or traveling within the profession, doing research, implementing policy, well-leadership could be useful. Plus, I figured I'd interact with more people in other classes, and work alongside people I don't typically work with. All around, a pretty good idea.

In this elective, we are going to work on a project with a leader in pharmacy in our area. Five local leaders have offered to help us out, including the Director of Pharmacy operations for Wegmans, Director of Pharmacy at URMC, Head of Pharmacy at Excellus BCBS, An owner of 8 local independent pharmacies, and the Dean of our school. They were very interesting Men. Men. Not a single woman. Why? Well, my guess is there just aren't a lot of women leading the profession in my area. This is simply driving me bonkers.
Bonkers.
I mean I knew they were all guys. We knew their names. They're big names around town. It wasn't really a surprise. I guess. But it didn't really sink in.

Lately this has been catching me a lot. It's not to say that women don't have positions of power, prestige, and great influence. They do. And it's not a hidden fact that even now men make more than women in a given profession, given the same experience, and same position.

Maybe I just hoped that it would change? Evolve?

Maybe women just don't want it? Maybe we have the opportunities, and just don't take them?

I've never really been excited about power. Or money. Or fame. Actually, all three kind of turn me off a bit, people get caught up in these ideas, and neglect the simple things. That's gross. Maybe this reflection is just me getting too caught up in it?

But it really, really, upset me. Maybe this is irrational. Likely. I'm not known for being rational.

I want to see women doing more. I want to see us grow into this role of equality that we allegedly have. I'm not convinced we have it. I'm not convinced that I personally need it. I'm just having one of those moments, I guess, where I feel like if I don't step up and ask for it no one will. It's like sitting in class, and the teacher is looking for participation. Everyone is doodling, or sleeping, or staring into space. And they are just waiting for someone to offer something. Anything. And I always end up giving in, and offering some lame excuse for an answer. Because the struggle is too much, simple as it is, for me to watch.

Maybe I have to step up and start. I mean, I do a lot. But maybe I need to be more loud about it. Gosh loud women really can drive me nuts. But I don't want my daughters to wish that the women before them did more. And, well, that would be me.

Can I have an impact without having wealth, power, and fame, in the sense that those terms are well known? I feel I set a pretty decent example. Up until now I have been focused on the small picture, the day to day, the family, the community. Can I broaden my focus, and reach out to the mid sized or even big picture, without neglecting what matters to be in my small town, my small home? Is that what has held women back? Or am I missing something else all together? Could be.

Ugh. I dunno. Maybe it's that I can see the light at the end of the school hallway. That things are on the right track at home, that I am being involved, and contributing. I have found my creative outlets, my hobbies, and been able to devote at least some time to all of this while in school. Maybe it's that I need to get the wheels turning on my next venture. Maybe it's that speculating about the big picture is a really good distraction.

Meh?

Blogging thru my quarter life crisis...

So, I decided on my way home today that I am, actually, having my quarter life crisis. That's right, I plan to live to 108. Or I'm a late bloomer. Or both. :) I thought I bypassed it, we did so much so early, the marriage, the kids, the house, the school choices...But after going back to school last week and really having the hardest time EVER with it, I've decided that must be it. It's not just school, it's a lot of things, adding up.

It's not that I am having regrets, or feel like my life is not going as planned. I'm not unhappy or unsatisfied. Maybe I am just incredibly bored with the day to day of getting up and going to school. This is my 5th year, in a row, of being back in school; Aside from maintaining relationships I do very little for 5 consecutive years. I am bored out of my mind. Routine is just not really my thing, I guess.

I blogged a bit, over the summer. I committed myself to blogging more often, and I did, I just didn't post them all on here. When I went back to do upload them, they were lame or out of date or both.

I still want to be a pharmacist, I just have lost all momentum and desire to go to school. Jon suggested senior-itis, maybe that's it. It is my last year in classes. It's not too challenging academically.

I'm really struggling with how I will practice pharmacy in the long run. I love my job, but I think it's largely because I love where I work, I like being in the community, I like the flexibility, I like working long days and less of them. I don't know if I'd be as satisfied working somewhere else. It's hard to say.

I still love my house, I have about 2 billion things I want to do here. I also want a tiny house, I want to travel.

I think part of it is I'm overdue to leave the states for a bit. My passport expired, and I'm trying to make that make me travel in country more. Thinking of CA in December, for the ASHP conference. Which brings me to residency choices, and limits our family vacation options. Pfff. Maybe it's fitting that I feel I'm having a bit of a crisis. I might as well accept it and try to do something with it, right?

So...I guess that's where I am...

Pharmacy Dreams

It's been a lazy Saturday here. Right now, the husband is sleeping on the couch, the babes is sleeping in her crib, the biggirl is reading books, and I'm just kinda sitting. I have a pile of cleaning to do, but that can wait. I just spent the last half hour researching and dreaming.

See, I have a lot of gigantic ideas about what my future holds, and what I want to do in pharmacy. I think that with 2 years of school left to go, its about time to really dig my heels in and start finidng the people I need to make things happen when I'm done.

I'm really frustrated by the state of the pharmacy profession, in general. A lot of things that have to do with the policy and the process and the way we operate here in the states really have been getting to me.

I'd like to see pharmacists helping more. I hate hearing about people taking more medicine as job security. Like it's a good thing, that people are sick and take pills. As if the pills will just fix it all, just like that. Sure, there are situations, diseases, circumstances where that might be a big chunk of the puzzle. But generally speaking? It just makes me go insane.

It's true though. The job security bit. Since so many pharmacies, retail and hospital alike, reimbursement, payment, staying a float, it's all about the numbers. I really don't give a rats ass about the numbers. If I can't work, because no one needs medicine, then I will find another way to pay my loans. I'd rather help enable people to take better care of themselves, treat their bodies better, know why they are taking what they are taking, and what other options there are. I'm not spending all this time in school to count by 5's and work on my carpal tunnel and varicose veins. And if there is no place where I can practice pharmacy at this level, then I'm going to have to create it myself. I appreciate that doctors want to prescribe and people want to take things to get better, I appreciate that we all want it to be fast and easy. But it just seems so silly.

Anyways.

Summmmmmer

Finally, summer.

Rotation went well, the hospital was a little on the quiet side, but a good place for me to get my feet wet. I could use some more experience with sterile compounding before the boards, for sure. The drive was lovely, really, so much better than the highway. And, I got to do my presentation on treating rattlesnake bites. Not many practice settings around here would that actually be applicable...

The last week of the rotation was a bit rough, scrambling to get my assignments done, combined with Jon's grandpas passing, Mabel's birthday festivities, and visiting with out of towners. This of course would have been a lot easier to manage if the school was willing to accommodate life, as it happens, outside of school. I think I've ranted about that enough. The lack of flexibility in this program doesn't help to prepare us for the real world, but just limit us in the present. Bah.

My boss <3 was kind enough to give me Monday and Tuesday off to reattach my head before working 11 hour days the rest of the week. Getting some of that stuff done around the house, finishing up my defensive driving course online (Thank you Mr. Trooper, UGH) and resting up. Walks, leisure reading, lots of music. Breakfast with the kiddos, evening strolls with Tina. I hope that I can work out a 3 long day schedule for the rest of summer, I might be able to get a thing or two done. The gardens could use some help. Thinking about the crazy things I have put myself up to the rest of this summer, wondering which ones will pan out (can't post it online till all is said and done, ugh)....

Just got on blogger to check the CSA's blog, to see when the 2010 season starts (soon! so excited) On my summer lettuce kick, and this junk from wegmans is a good effort, but not quite summer tasty.

In other news, in addition to all the possible projects around the house, I'm considering vegetarianism again...Over the last month I imposed a no meat I have to pick off bones rule, and the more I think of it the more I'm not interested in eating cute things. Lisa (Check out her blog WaitingLisa) has inspired me with her meatless monday posts, and another friend just posted yesterday that she's going vegan. With farm season starting, it's a good time to change. Plus, it'll get me cooking more, which feels good right about now (although I'm not the best, my veggie dishes are always better than my attempts at meat!).

And, my little brother and my bestey are going to be in town over the summer!

And, Jordan at Greg'ry's hooked me up with some more brownie crust today! Reminder as to why I love the small town life.



Anyways, as usual, it's a lot of strange stuff for one post. But that's pretty much how it is around here. Off to retrieve Mabel from the tupperware mound, and get some more laundry going.

Hugs!

I like do nothing days

Next Monday, I start my IPPE2 Rotation at a relatively rural hospital pharmacy. I'm half excited, half just wanting to keep on chillin at home. Don't get me wrong, I've done a lot this week. And it's not that I don't want to learn about hospital pharmacy, it's interesting. It's just the commitment of having to do something, I think, that I don't like. This semester was ROUGH. It was enough just to get through it all, academically, and with all the changes at home and such.
New tenants, new job for Jon, new childcare arrangements, it all just makes my head spin again. I guess maybe I needed more than a week to recover?

Had a diner breakfast date today with the a Mabester and my friend Emily, it was nice. Came home, tidy-ed a bit. Tried to catch up on some emails (gosh I have such a short attention span for cleaning my in-box...) locate some of the paperwork I need for the hospital...Plotting a post dishes-nap bike ride for this afternoon, or whenever the sky looks convincing. It's just nice. Is this what being independently wealthy is like? Shoot, I'll take independently poor and embrace my free time! Pesky bills and such.

Found out this week that the hours for my summer intern program changed, not sure if I'll be able to get as many as I initially planned. So in addition to getting paid drastically less than the other interns at my company, my hours seem a bit in question. On one hand, it would have been nice to know so I could have planned a little differently. On the other hand, I don't think it changes much. Luckily I love my job and the people I work with, and the community I work in. It's disappointing, but the outcome is the same.

I find that times like this have me considering all the what ifs, if I had gone a different direction when I decided to go back to school. Thailand has come up a lot. So have other, more random things, like being a florist, or ethnomusicologist. Or just a homebody. I've been listening to a lot more music. Picking out random people to follow on twitter, or blogs, some pharmacy people, some people doing other things I have considered, that I have come across randomly over the years. I'm still happy with my experiences, sure, it's just interesting to consider. :)

No more pencils, no more books....and my Mom is awesome.

Yesterday my mom came over an hour early so I could study at school, which I clearly needed after the night.

Then after she worked and I was running home to change for work she brought Mabel over so I could have a midday squeeze and a grown up hug from someone that was proud of me.

And now it's day one of summer break, well, till my IPPE 2 rotation starts on the 17th. I only work weds and thursday next week, good thing the weekend is booked with birthdays or I'd be tempted to skip town....

Last rant of the semester...

OK. Going to attempt two posts today, one to tie up the end of the semester, and one to start the psuedo summer break :)

Last final was yesterday. Yeah, here's the rant.

So, I don't really study as much as my school counterparts. I could make more time for it, I guess, but I'd much rather make time for more fun things. I found that a good nights sleep, and a couple hours to wake up and get in the test mindset makes it as painless as possible.
I've heard all these rumors that the P2 year is the worst, and it's the one I finished up yesterday, at least I hope. I knew the exam was going to be rough, so I collected my relevant packets and readings and planned on flipping thru 'em a little at a time. I missed a lecture on reading EKGs and bradyarrythmias when I was at legislative day in Albany, so I had to figure all that nonsense out as well. Being badly burned by the arrhythmia section on the last exam, I wanted to make sure I could knock out at least one section on the test.
I don't know why I think I can get anything done in the house. Jon has about a million projects to do, and there's so many distractions. Even if I can convince myself not to play with the girls or dogs or bust out something crafty, there's people and dogs and cars and trains....

I figured that getting up at 4, and taking my time to read through the material would help. I could listen to the lecture, reference my book, sort out the packets. I went to bed early, was asleep by ten, so I could get my 6 hours. But, as always, life has different plans. So after spending from about three till about four soothing a screaming babe, studying was not on my radar. I had to go to sleep, cause after school was work, and well, I have to make sure people don't die at work, so I need to be awake for that too.

Needless to say, It didn't go as planned. I'll leave it at that.

Ok. Finally. Dusting it off.

Well, I had intentions of getting back into the blogging a couple of weeks ago. Clearly, it was just intentions...hahahaha...Ooooh man...But, having reached a point where my "done" list for the semester is about the same length as my "to do" list, I figured now works. Hopefully my 2 or 3 followers aren't expecting much :) SO...in summary...

School: Well, just under a month left. Spent this past Tuesday on a bus to Albany advocating for the profession (Sticking to that was quite the task, mind you. Much advocating to be done these days) and the remainder of the week trying to guilt myself into studying for yesterdays P&T exam. Which, by the way, never seems to work out (intentions again, I suppose). There's just so much else to do. Turns out the exam was near impossible anyways, with questions that really could have been answered only by actually memorizing some charts we were handed. I mean, really folks? It's ok. I can accept that. I can also accept my choice not to spend my time on that. I am completely confident in my ability to look up that information efficiently and apply it when needed. As I said, it didn't really seem to make a difference. The kids in class that skipped Albany day and all of the rest of the days classes leading up to the exam had more negative things to say about it than I did.

Family: Mabel's been sick for the better part of a week, finally getting over a cold and her teeth are about to bust through. Poor kiddo's gotten at least 4 teeth in the last month, looks like a couple more are coming through in the next week. I do not envy her position one bit. She's been a pretty good sport. And, words are forming. Well, sounds with meaning, at the least. Sure, Jon's been getting the AhDa and DaDa for a couple weeks now, but this past week I got the MaDa a couple times. Cute. We also have Up and Ba. And she hisses at Auburn sometimes. It's totally OK if she holds off on that whole forming big words thing for a while though. And the walking thing. Although I know that is getting close. Goodness the munchkin jumped so hard in her pack n play that she busted the board in the bottom. Gotta love it. Like Auburn, I imagine she will wait till her legs are strong enough to just run. Auburn is living it up, got a new bike, we've been taking LOTS of bike rides! Which is good, cause she's about the only bike rider I can keep up with. Her room is clean cause I hired it out to a friend who needed work..but that was a week ago and it's still tidy, so that's pretty good for seven. Jon is working. Goooodness I miss having a house husband, although it is nice to be able to pay the bills. And, we'll even have health insurance. And, most importantly, he doesn't hate his job. They treat him nice. All you can ask for really.

Work: I am so lucky that my boss gets how important my time is to me, and lets me work when I can during school. Waiting to hear on when the intern program starts up this year, so I can work more hours. Heavily debating on if I want to actively pursue getting enough hours together so that I can take my part 3 early. That's the compounding/wet lab portion of the boards that NY makes us do. The thing is, if I take it and for whatever reason don't pass, I have to take it again to get my license. Whereas, if I get a residency either in or out of state, and then come back to NY never having failed the part 3, I can get my license without having to take the part 3. I think I might just apply to the residencies that I want and take what I get, and if I don't get one I still have time to sign up for the part 3. I think. Haahahaha. Well, a year to tease out the details, I guess. Either way, I'm thankful to have a job I like.

House: The apartments are rented out, and nothing *knock on wood* is broken right now! I have a purple dining room (good choice) and a new mattress (not so good choice, so hard to get up) and I'm gearing up for some maaaaajor yardwork and cleaning. Discovered that birds can access my attic last weekend, I would have thought if they were up there often they would have annoyed the who out of the tenants by now, I think the attic is more their hang out than home, and I think I may have blocked off their access. I hope, anyways. Some minor house things to do still. Oh, and I guess I ought to finish painting the living room at some point. It's not a bad shade of whiteish, but, it's a shade of whiteish. But, having a too colorful living room might be overkill with the furniture, and color combos I have in the other rooms. Plus, I like that you can still experience the textured wallpaper underneath it! Yes, I painted over wallpaper, but, since I hardly have time to paint in there, I think replastering or drywalling was a little bit of a stretch.

In laws?: I won't be posting on the in-laws here, at least, for the time being. Not that they read this, or what I would type would be a slam or dig or without evidence or due cause. Infact I think that there are MANY lessons that can be learned from this, from a relationship and communication stand point, and I would love to share those. Just haven't figured out a way to do that yet. Keeping them out of my posts, updates, and all else in a last ditch effort to save at least the formal relationship for the kids. I will say though, that conflicts cannot be resolved, generally, without open dialogue, respect, and a willingness to admit your own mistakes. And I will say, that it has been really difficult, for all of us. And I will say, I broke my rule and gave out more than 3 chances for resolution. So, now it's back to wait and see. Sigh. I'm so stubborn sometimes.

Other randomness: Other things the past while has included, which will likely get their own posts as time provides: A 10+ hour road tip to Rangeley, ME with the peanut and the women of the Coleman clan, earring making experiments with Auburn, my proposed WSOP dress code challenge for next year (cowboy shirts only), curling (yes, curling!), a springtime dirt road ride to Maple syrup in the scooby, and lots of thoughts sent towards how on earth I might think I will ever find my place in the realm of pharmacy practice. I lost 20 pounds in the boot camp challenge, and kept it off (so far) despite not going to the gym since. I got my 2nd choice for my summer rotation. I'm excited about springtime. And so on. Mostly good things. :)



I think that about sums it up.

Dusting off the blog...

I suppose it's about time for me to think about blogging actively again...Not today, but soon.
It's been a crazy few months, but there is some significant drama that I could use to vent about, and well I've really taken on a ton so far this semester, which might be of interest to some of the pharmacy kids out there.

Found out this fall that one of the P1s at school is pulling a Colleen and having a baby this summer! Best of luck to her. But really, if I can do it, anyone can :)

So basically, in the past couple of months, I've been in school, working, remodeled another apartment, gone through a couple of dining room paint colors....I joined the professional fraternity on campus, entered a boot camp weight loss competition, and managed to make my in laws so mad at us that it's been a silent few months!

And really, I think that's probably not the half of it.

So I guess I'll start filling in the details soon. I'm setting a blog once a week goal for the rest of the semester. We will see what happens I suppose!

But for now, diner breakfast is calling my name.

Welcome to life, pharmacy school. (Rant)

It's funny, they put a lot of weight, effort, into finding people for the pharmacy program that have done more than their basic pre-reqs. Not more college, necessarily, more STUFF. They are looking for well rounded people, that have some life experience, and goals. So I figure, that they might be a little more laid back in the amount of random stuff we have to regurgitate for exams. I mean, I get it, there is a LOT to know. I'm talking like the one sentence random facts that we can look up in a reputable reference in a matter of seconds if we need it. Like gram to grain conversions, equations, clinical dosing recommendation...They give us a class on looking this up, even. An entire, GPA weighted (thank goodness, I needed that!) course on how to look up drug info. But it seems that this is the very stuff they test us on.

I mean sure, if I was living at home, with mom and dad paying for my school, with no family, no bedtime, no job, no bills, I could do it. If my life was on flashcards, you bet I would know those facts. But they want to target, to recruit these people, that balance life, jobs, bills, families even, experiences, with these piles of reproducible facts.

Last year, I dealt. I chalked it up to pregnancy and a full time course load, two things I hadn't done in the last few years. But now, it's almost like they are wasting my time. Not because what I am learning isn't valuable, but because the way I have to present it is simply unrealistic. Am I going to compound something for a patient when the rx is given in grains, without looking up the conversion factor? No. I can tell you right now, it's 15.4 grains per gram. 65 mg per grain. But in ten years when that script floats into my pharmacy? You bet I'll look that up.

And when I spend a couple hours, studying for some quizzes, when I make sure I am there, every day, in that seat....When I leave before the sun, to study and have parking...And I take the quiz, to be told it doesn't count, and that the students that came in as the quiz was being collected will get the same "points" as me...It's frustrating. If you are going to make a point, to get people "like me" to fill the seats in your program, it would be awesome if you designed the coursework to what we will do in real life. Cause I'm living it. I've got the anxious second grader, the husband who is worried about job security. I've got no healthcare. I've got the mortgage, the job. I have the teething baby up keeping me company when I am studying at 4am, because that's when I can fit it in. I've got the sick grandma, the laid off dad, the brother who is trying to catch what life is throwing him. And I plan on being there for them too. And I'm not going to put that on the back burner. I picked this. That is why I'm here. That is how I got here. Their needs, their support, my goals, my needs. That's why I do this. And I will get through this. Pharmacy school doesn't really fit into life so well, but I'm trying. Welcome to life, pharmacy school.

My lack of memorizing flashcard facts and optimal dosing that will likely change when I graduate won't get me A's for sure. That won't help me compete for a residency, but at this point, I can't afford to spend my time for anyone that expects me to pick my GPA over my valued free time. I guess it's a good thing I ruled out med school long ago....

One week down

Well, that was work. I still don't even know what happened with the last week of my life....

My classes are long and my books are heavy. One of our texts is literally heavier than my almost 3 month old kiddo. Insane! Reading through that is my next task.

Amongst all the chaos, I didn't even get to put away the veggies from last week. Or cook anything. Or stretch, or swim. Needless to say, about now, I'm stressed and sore....Only about 15 more weeks to go then a small break!!

All in all, it's not too bad. I'm bummed that the courses I will likely do best in are pass fail, so I have no gpa buffer. I'm bummed that the professor that makes me really uneasy, which by the way is pretty hard to do, is teaching the bulk of our therapeutics course. I'm bummed that all I got to do at my rotation site was make a pile of Dr calls. I'm bummed that I still don't have a sitter for my wee tyke once school starts up again. But that's just it. Each one of these has a positive too....No gpa buffer means I really have to try, that's good for me. Motivating. Spending QT with my least fav prof, that's good for me too, builds character. Making loads of Dr calls, well, at least I'll get good at that! Not having a sitter, havent found the plus there yet, but that is the one obstacle I can likely resolve. I hope.

Goals for this weekend: Take care of last weeks loose ends, and get organized. And find a sitter I can afford, or at least some new leads. Eat more veggies (that's gotta be part of why I feel so blah), stretch, and take the girls swimming.

Today, I'm cleaning the fridge and counters, and starting over in the kitchen. Looks like some of my veggies will make it, and we are heading out soon to pick up new ones, which will get cleaned and go right in the fridge. Then reading and typing notes, some coffee, kiddo and nap time, then hanging out with some good friends because it's gonna be a rough semester! And do some laundry, because I need to take good care of my 5 day rotating wardrobe. Maybe, If I get enough work done, a trip to the outlets can be in order? Or at the least Pennys. Call me old, but I like their dress pants. Cheaper than target too.

Enough of the computer...on with the day :)